Well I've been a bachelor all my life
I thought the time had come to take a wife
So I moved to the city to find myself a mate
But I get all confused when I start looking for a date

Oh, I can't tell the boys from the girls
And friends it's really messing up my world
They all wear long hair and bouncy curls
And I can't tell the boys from the girls

I walked in a picture show and found a seat
This pretty little thing sat down in front of me
I leaned over and asked her if she'd like some company
But I rearly died when she truned out to be a he

* Refrain

I'm going to leave this city and go home
I guess I'll stay single from now on
But I won't make the same mistake by coming here again
Cause I can't tell difference between the hers and hims

* Refrain